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2. |
Kerfuffle
03:03
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The tingly feeling still hijacks my stomach that hit shore when we first met. Docked and tied to my cleats she took over my feelies. My heart grows three sizes every day. It’s too painful to contain. My celibacy can walk the plank. I found me new matey. I made up my mind. I looked in her eyes as blue as the seven seas. I got on one knee and popped out the ring then she just started giggling. Then all my friends hopped out of the bushes to point and laugh at my state of confusion. I set my anchor on my one true love. She turned out to be a hoax. Everybody was in on it the whole eight year relationship. It’s so mean and elaborate. They got me good, I fell for it. I was none the wiser. Oh boy my face sure is red. But all I can be is a good sport. They got me good, I fell for it.
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It’s times like these I completely comprehend the evil mindset we’re all able to slip in. All you need is that one good push off of the edge. If I don’t find a parking spot soon then I’ll slip in. My temper takes the wheel, my rationals tied up in the trunk. It’s wishing me good luck. And I have too piss so bad. Endless game of musical chairs. It’s too difficult to park somewhere. You don’t see yourself committing homicide. You think you’re incapable of iniquity. But it’s inside all of us. If you think I’m wrong try parking in my neighborhood.
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4. |
Lamethrower
02:12
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Looking sleepy on the subway, arms locked up, crossed. Valuables out on my lap. Pretending to nod off. Eyeballed by a predator in search of easy targets. Please sir, make my day. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this: a scumbag to give me this in to play out a scene this unrealistic. Leaning on my cane. Glanced at by a sleaze. Come on, take the bait. I bet he thinks he’s so damn slick. Please sir, make my day, make my day. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this: a scumbag to give me this inch. Inch. It turned out well on paper but in practice eh not so much.
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5. |
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Nothing here’s been quite the same since Mr. Dennis died. It’s been a lot less tense since his Lazyboy’s gone unoccupied. The somber day has come. We all have our tributes to pay. Mom said dress nice so I wore my Beats By Dre. My father’s got the mic but I’m gonna steal the show. I’ve never scene a crowd more in need of spicy stand-up jokes. Well pressure’s on already waiting for my dad to warm them up. His material’s gold. He has me sold calling Mr. Dennis a hard drinking fist-fighting man five feet from his carcass with a heart full of vengeance. It didn’t take a bullet to take this tough guy down. It took, oh, I don’t know, a hundred to a thousand pounds of steal, on wheels! *cue laugh track* Well things around here haven’t been quite the same since Mr. Dennis died. Things have been much more pleasant since his Lazyboy’s gone unoccupied. But I’ll bring him back delivering my next punchline. Mr. Dennis will be severely missed. He always had his charming way of talking with his fists. Well if he put down his beer and picked up his integrity maybe he’d be here making fun of me. Pressure’s on already waiting for my dad to warm them up. His material’s gold. He had me sold calling Mr. Dennis a hard drinking fist-fighting man five feet from his carcass. But no one else is laughing at it.
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6. |
Checkmate, Creationists!
03:41
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Count ‘me up there’s five red cars in this parking lot. It only took a ten minute trip to the store for them to all show up. Take a closer look. Didn’t you see that girl flip her hair towards me? Subtle but intended maliciously. What the hell are you? A cop? Taking orders from my mom? Cut the act. You’re so transparent. The more jabs I catch the redder I get them start twisting off my shirt. In a panic chuck my belongings at the wall. Feel my face to ascertain I still have a face at all. With gangstalking man you just never know. What the hell are you? A cop? Taking orders from my mom? Cut the act. You’re so transparent. How much is she paying you to ruin my life?
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A Mammoth Task recommends:
Thalnusdian Nymphylocrest
by Capitol Swizzle Credit
This guy is an extremely talented writer. Complex, funny, catchy, it has everything
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Best in the biz. Every song has a novel twist that will leave you bedazzled.
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You just cannot make this stuff up.
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Harsh Reality
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Chicagoans craft indomitable hardcore for uncertain times, full of mangled riffs, and larynx-shredding hooks—plus a touch of post-punk.
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Consensus Madness (LUNGS-249)
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Bug-eyed, rip-roaring noise punk that incinerates on impact, the perfect combo of sneering vocals and hellfire riffs.
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